Satellites will not know my location.

So far from the ending
I find myself.
A future memory,
Of building my life.
Building it to a mold of another.

But on the inside
The beams of my heart break.
I expect to give so much,
With such little dignity,
Such an unwilling body.

Perhaps my cynicism corrodes
My otherwise cogent constitution.
Will these rafters collapse?

Will everything I've worked
to become, be destroyed
under the demolition
of my character?

I suppose the answer
only comes with the
Great mystery of choice
And circumstance.
Something only the greatest God
Can partially influence.

Even-tempered.

When roads meet
And I've taken my turn,
Where will the turn lead?
Further to you and farther from me.
What if fear overshadows the yet to be?
I've thought about where
Shadowy roads bleed,
And how I've turned to stubbornly,
With a will to move hearts suddenly.

But this road has changed
The will I had has been lost between bedsheets,
And with no small effort
must I ask for the help I thought wasn't needed.
The help to build a stronger me,
The risk is ever-present.
Endangering the thoughts
That with your help
Can once again make me feel like myself.
The soul intangible.
Making thoughts understandable.

You see this soul once lost,
Was traded with greased palms
To a devilish sort.
Leaving the hermit lost from the shell,
Wandering in a sort of hell.
Where love could win it over,
Indifference had flicked the cold shoulder.
In pursuit of growing older.
And perhaps wiser.

Wisdom is a submissive mistress,
When you think its there,
A cold replica persists.
So you duplicate
the subjugate,
The subjugate is gone,
And the wiser has fled
And your wisdom has not won.

Heal my broken soul,
Since the weak hands could not do
Where pride sheltered the pain
It also left a bruise.
I'm an empty lot.
With no joy to be had.
Your pain is my pleasure
I'm your lovely cad.