My legs stride across dimensions of energy,
entering a forbidden door in my mind.
Forget the sound you made
as guilt spread across your face.
Pour out your disgusting habits,
representing a father you could never be.
Tell me your faults, your antipathies,
your fears, angers, and reveries.
I curse all my willingness to overcome
what I thought I'd never be.
This is just a slip in my mind
a slip of my heart,
a slip down the cliff of all reason.
My personality falls apart.
Out comes the hate,
out comes the silently repetitive tracks of my head.
I tried for so long to shut them up,
lock them out
burn them down.
My hand wants to cup my mouth in a forceful grip,
perhaps to break the explosion of words.
I hadn't analyzed them all,
they came out of me like a horde of demons.
I had intended to break you,
make you come back to me.
Now I see,
you deserved to be beaten, broken
until you cannot even breathe.
But then, I am beaten, broken, angered, sad,
and the feeling breaks from my face to tangibility.
I want to throw myself away,
I had been so decently composed.
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