Overestimated Errors

With a fresh outlook
despair is all I see.
Changing perspective
may be easy,
but at the end of this transformation,
I am always constantly me.

So,
I've split my decision,
lost my religion,
become a beast of
another means.
Even though
the revelry
is killing me.
Driving a hole in my heart
so deeply.
And, I've lost all poignancy.

Countdown to the lucky year.

Seventeen:
This verse being read
Starting from my heart,
Where childhood light
Breaks apart,
The indecisions of many a past memory,
And relives the cruelty of ones own enemy.
To myself be true,
Fake not
The dimples drawn
On the face which becomes you.
Where dreamers will not tread,
This source is my bread.
For even as sweet
As the dreamers truth,
Adventure abounds
Past the fountain of youth.

Nineteen:
So many times I wish I were
Not so much him, but a little more her.
Her beauty to which manly tides flow,
Yet my fate has a more peculiar glow,
Past the trees, and shadows of dismissiveness.

Twenty-one:
AND NOW!
My beauty divides your soul,
Like a lawyer
I never settle for less
than what I want.
Peer into my eyes,
See where the threat to your heart lies.
I run with reckless abandon.
My darling...
Are you prepared?

Twenty-three:
With fair winds and a following sea,
Jesus sent me to the west,
To absolve my seven sins,
And incredulity forms
The waters of that
Which I must happily dive in.

The Confession of Misplaced Grace.

Death by awareness.
My heart hurts with delight
I refuse to ask forgiveness
When I know that the caverns
of my head are disintegrating
With the joy of dancing in sin.
Because redemption feels
Delightful....only when i've
Been dirtied by the delights
That drive my soul to the devil.

In being torn apart,
and mindful of the consequences;
Absolution in deathly drunkeness
Is indulgently devious.
So perfect in it's imperfection.
I'll sacrifice myself to the darkness
Because the light has no place card
on its table for someone as lost as I.
I'll follow the piper because the
piety of the innocent is a distant dream
my subconscious soul
can no longer comprehend.
My beloved saviour,
I cannot fess up for my name
For which I have so dirtied up with doubt.
The questions you answered have left me
longing for the deeper infinite.
A path I shan't journey.
A bridge I cannot cross,
For my feet have splintered and split
walking on your testy trail.
I am not worthy of your light.
Not qualified for your absolution.